My fiance really irritates me when he comes back from work he leaves his clothes everywhere. He makes all these stuff fall down ,books,baby toys,coins,flower pots.Never ever picks them up after. I pick them up and clean everything of course. It just irritates me because everytime hes home the house is a huge huge mess, there’s food containers on the floor table all sticky. the clothes that i hung on the hanger all fell because in the morning he looks for stuff to wear and makes everything else falls down in the closet.After doing the house cleaning making sure everything is done and wake up to find the house all messed up and dirty again just makes me soo angry. I always tell him to pick up after his garbage but he just never listens he doesn’t care. I just feel extremely tired and depress. There was this one week he left to Newyork for work and that week was the most cleanest week ever the whole house was spotless clothes all hanged up no garbage, floor shiny. Soon in a couple of weeks I’m not going to be home as much I will be leaving for work I won’t be doing all the house chores as much. How can I get him to just keep tidy,he does not have to be a clean freak or spotless but just u know no containers everywhere on the floor garbage and clothes on the floor from every direction.
I’m not a total clean freak I can be messy myself.
I’m just sick of repeating the samethings over and over when it could of been done by the person who made the mess instead of leaving it there for me.And if i never pick it up or clean it..it will never be clean
Thanks Everyone for the Great Answers =) Truly appreciate it knowing that *I Am Not Alone*
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My fiance really irritates me when he comes back from work he leaves his clothes everywhere. He makes all these stuff fall down ,books,baby toys,c…
19 replies on “I feel really depress when the house is not clean..is this normal?”
yes dear it is not normel……just consult any doc asap……….
Sounds like you have an obsession!
No, it isn’t normal to be like that. You need to lighten up.
I am the same way…I hate it when the house is all cluttered with crap all over. I have to tell my S.O. to pick up his crap all the time.
You may be feeling sad because your environment is being ruined and disrupted or it could be in addition to something else that bothers you about him that you don’t realize.
Just talk to him about the situation and tell him how you feel.
Instead of nagging him, I would just sit him down and tell him how you feel. Tell him that it stresses you out that things get messy and it is so much easier if you pick up after yourself. Explain to him that you’re not going to have as much time to do the cleaning once you go to New York for work.
Since he is your fiance, keep in mind that if you marry him and he doesn’t change, it’s probably going to be like this forever. If you really loves you, he will try harder.
*I get stressed if my apt is cluttered and I cant concentrate unless it’s clean. But, if you feel depressed maybe you should see a doctor. Ask yourself if a clean house is worth a huge argument. Pick ur battles.
wow someone like me.Its really nothing wrong with him or you.He cant see the mess the way you do nor does he understand why it drives you insane,just as you cant understand why he doesnt feel the same as you do.ACCEPTANCE is your best bet because when you start work i doubt he will then step up any more than he does now.If you cant do that then just do what you can,but you better ask yourself if this is who you want to be married too.
It’s normal for you to feel like this.
‘Tidy house, Tidy mind’.
But mainly, its feels horrible to be taken for granted like that. He shouldn’t be so lazy, it’s not your job to tidy up his mess.
So explain to him how you feel. This time shows what marriage will be like, and you need to know he will change, you don’t want to be tidying up his crap forever.
I think there might be another issue. You are not feeling appreciated for the things you do. I think you should start just leaving his messes. I know it will be hard, but do it. Sooner or later he will pick up. You have to get yourself in a mind set that its ok to leave clothes in the floor. I am also a clean person and my husband isn’t. Before bed ask him nicely, “Would you mind getting your clothes and putting them in the hamper?” Stuff like that. Don’t nag or boss him around. Men resist more when you tell them what to do. Just be nice and ask politely.
Just so you know, it will be a long road ahead. He will not change his habits for months. Maybe longer. Maybe never. You have to decide if this is some thing you can put up with longer. My husband and I are reading a great book right now called “Men are from Mars, Women are from Venus.” You should really check it out.
dayum that sux
i try my best to do the same BUT my little sister and brohter do the EXACT same thing…they dont care cause they kno that eventually us “clean” people will eventually clean it up..wat i suggest you do would be to pretty much talk to him and let him kno that he is being a dirty pig!! let him kno that this irratates you and that you cant handle jit anymore…good luck for both of us cause like i said i am going threw the same thing..
yeah, I know how you feel.
Best thing to do, is leave everything how it is. I did! Hell, my hubby couldnt stand it after, 4 days of living in filth. I know it sounds nasty but hey, you cant do everything!
I dont care if he works and your a stay at home mom. I believe that just because you bring home the bacon it dosent exclude you from picking after yourself.
You have the most powerful weapon on earth right between your legs that many many men have fought and died for so i suggest you use it since nothing else seems to work.
It sounds like this is a power thing with him. I would think twice about marrying someone who so blatantly ignores your requests. Your not asking him to clean the apartment just to pick up after himself.
Silver,
it is perfectly normal to feel how you feel, but sounds like this is who he is and will not change no time soon. And since you have children together/or children in the picture, I would suggest you just try and make it easier for the both of you, like buying storage material, maybe two more containers for say his shoes, or easier access for his clothes. Just use your extra time to be creative in doing something different.
i dont think your depressed because of the house not being clean
i think your depressed because you worked so hard to have it clean and your MAN doesnt appreciate it or you. it makes you feel a lunequal. talk to him and tell him thats how you feel.
if your truely depressed about the house not being clean….its O.C.D. and you need to get help
Everything that we feel is from within ourselves. You have a belief in which the house should be at a certain level of neatness. His beliefs allow him to tolerate a different level of neatness.
There are three things you can do. The first thing you can do is to compromise your belief of neatness and allow yourself to permit some clutter in areas you don’t directly control.
The second thing you can do is sit him down and explain that you need him to mind his messes, and that this is a serious issue for you. However, do not get angry if he does not change. The only person you can control is yourself.
The third option is to remove yourself from the situation. Maybe this is a dealbreaker. Can you compromise? Can you live through this mess for the rest of your life? It’s a tough decision, but your happiness is the most important thing.
I hate a filthy house too. I feel kinda down when my house is a mess.
Yes, it’s common to feel anxious and depressed when your house is a mess. It’s also common to feel frustrated as heck when you’re doing all the cleaning and your partner is making all the mess.
You’ll never turn a naturally messy person into a neat freak, but have you tried telling your fiance how you feel about the situation? ie, “I love it when the house is clean. It makes me feel happier and more in control. I guess I’m really affected by my environment.” Or, “Honey, when you don’t help me keep things tidy after I’ve worked so hard to clean up the house, it makes me feel like you don’t value my efforts.”
Or best yet, “Honey, with me going back to work soon, there’s no way I’m going to be able to keep the house clean and safe for our baby by myself. So which would you rather do? Split up the chores evenly, or hire a housekeeper?”
It’s normal when your spouse is… let’s not sugar-coat it… a slob.
I can deal with clutter. Clothes and things strewn about I can pick-up or put away easily enough.
It the sticky… it just makes me livid.
If you keep cleaning and pick-up after him, he never will.
I find for me that it is completely normal. My mood is directly effected by my environment and how messy or clean it is. I have to have a clean house and anyone that doesn’t understand and respect that I find problematic. Mainly it is the one of the few areas of my life that I feel I have control. So when it is chaotic I am chaotic. I know exactly were your coming from. The only way really to get someone to clean up after themselves is to tell them too. You have been doing it for him for so long you have become his maid with “benefits”. You have to tell him and keep telling him just like a five year old.