My boyfriend and I have been in a committed relationship for over 2 years now. We have an amazing relationship and we plan on getting married in our near future. The only thing that causes me to have hesitation is that he has a baby with another woman. That in it of itself isn’t that scary except he NEVER talks about the baby…EVER! I think that is weird and makes me feel uncomfortable. Anytime the baby is mentioned is when I ask something, but he never offers any information about her. He never shows me pictures, he never buys her clothes or toys in my presence. I just feel like there is this huge pink elephant in the room and I cant talk about it; it is awkward that he never mentions it her… at all. I have no children and I love children. I don’t mention that because I intend to become this child’s mother but I would like to share in her milestones and her life as well. How can I get him to communicate about her? I have asked him time and time again to please try and include me, and he agrees but then he doesn’t. I am not asking to allow me to take her out on my own or anything… I would like to just love her and spoil her too and at minimum see pictures of her. Am I over reacting?! How can I get him to start talking to me about his baby? Please help…
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My boyfriend and I have been in a committed relationship for over 2 years now. We have an amazing relationship and we plan on getting married in o…
3 replies on “How can I get my boyfriend to talk to me about his baby?!?”
You’ve been with him for two years and he won’t talk about this?
That’s not good at all. First of all, you can’t become the mother of this child. She clearly has a mother. You have to respect that.
I don’t know what he’s hiding, but he definitely is hiding something. You can’t force him to talk, but before you marry him, take him to counseling and see if the professionals can get him to open up. Him leaving you completely in the dark is a sign that he doesn’t fully trust you. And that’s not someone you should marry.
This is a very difficult situation to deal with. It could be a number of things on why he has not introduced you to his daughter.
1. His baby momma might not approve of you with her child. (this happens a lot unfortunately, Jealousy)
2. He could be having a relationship with her and child.
3. He is just not ready to introduce another mommy figure into his daughter’s life yet.
Either way you must fall back. Why, because this is not your child. He will introduce you when he is ready. Some people feel strong about waiting to introduce their friend/lover to their child.
Your not over-reacting, when your such a big part of his life its perfectly normal to feel excluded when he doesn’t share all of himself with you, which in this case includes his baby girl.
I wouldn’t be put of by this. If your thinking along the lines of his potential as a father when the two of you have kids then things will be different when the kid is yours.
Have you badgered him for the reason why he doesn’t include you into this? Its no good asking him to include you and not asking why he isn’t doing it. If you’ve asked and he hasn’t given an answer, there could be a handful of reasons for this.
Of the top of my head, one reason could be that now that the two of you are together, he doesn’t want a reminder of the relationship with this other girl that didn’t work out to get in the way of the great relationship he has with you. He might be thinking that you don’t want to see the result of what was a broken relationship between him and his ex, and so in front of you he doesn’t show much interest in her. Whatever the reason is, I bet when your not around, his baby girl will one of the biggest things in his life and I’m sure he loves her to pieces, he is just not showing that to you for some reason. Please don’t be put off by it, if you have a good solid relationship with him then you will be able to work this out and hopefully be great parents yourself one day.