He’s 15 now. His older brother, 17, is still at home. He’s a lot nicer to his 20-yr-old sister now that she’s moved out, but he’s still very jealous if I do anything for or with her.
I think a lot of the jealousy is because he has difficulty learning and some problems socializing. I suspect Asperger’s or mild autism. The school system here was condemning of his efforts. I homeschooled him in the last 1/2 of first grade, and then again from fourth grade all the way through (now in high school.)
A friend of the 17-year-old needs a place to stay for a few weeks. His mother died last year. Lord only knows where his father is. How could I even think of saying no? But this has created a huge problem.
I asked the 17-year-old to take his brother a few places with the “buddies” but he made it clear he didn’t want to. With his brother’s bad attitude towards everything, I don’t really blame him.
This bad attitude has definitely created a negative reality. His frown is mirrored back at him.
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He’s 15 now. His older brother, 17, is still at home. He’s a lot nicer to his 20-yr-old sister now that she’s moved out, but he’s still very jealo…
2 replies on “My youngest child gets the most time & attention, but he’s always jealous of the older 2 kids.?”
STOP BABYING HIM. hes too old for this. i read this question i thought you would be talking about an 6 or 8 yr old. 15!!!!!!!!!!! chill out on all the attention. then he will see how good he had it.
let him wallow in his bad attitude. he will learn the error of his ways. hes not a child!!! he needs to take responsibility for his behaviors.
You’ve definitely created a situation that is going to be difficult to reverse, though not impossible. He has been babied and the center of attention for so long that when anyone else is given that spot, he cannot deal with losing the spotlight. This is almost like separation anxiety except the child isn’t a toddler going to school for the first time, but rather, a teenager who needs to learn to adjust to not always being the center of Mom and Dad’s attention.
Perhaps one way to help with this is to slowly start getting him back into school. It may be too late to put him in public school altogether, but maybe find a private school where the class sizes and student/teacher ratio are small enough to where he can still get the attention he needs while not feeling completely overwhelmed. If this is not an option, I’d suggest hiring a tutor to finish teaching him because continuing his homeschooling with one of his parents as his teacher will only make this problem worse, in my opinion.
I also recommend getting him into some form of social groups. Find something he is interested in and get him involved, but that you aren’t a part of. For instance, if he loves a sport, get him on a team. If he loves playing guitar, get him lessons and eventually into a band or something. Try to find something where he can get the socialization he desperately needs but also something he’s interested in.
As for the family, I recommend trying a couple of things. First, maybe do some activities together as an entire family…fully interacting with all of your children. I know your oldest child is no longer living at home, but having her come over for dinner now and then should still be a possibility. Also, perhaps make a day for each of them. Mondays for your oldest child, Tuesdays for your middle, Wednesdays for your youngest, etc. At least that gives your youngest child a bit of boundaries as well as an understandable schedule. If he does have mild autism, this alone will go a long way in helping…scheduling events makes a world of difference to an autistic child as change and spontaneous events are difficult to deal with.
Overall, I know it’s difficult, but try to stop babying him so much. Talk with him and ask him directly how he feels…he may surprise you by telling you. Be prepared that he may also say nothing. At least you have a plan in place to do something, though.
I understand my answer is long, but you asked for some help/suggestions..that’s difficult to do with a short answer. Good luck to you and your family! I hope I’ve helped.